Pikachu Goes to the Gay Pride Parade
by The Auteur
Summary: Pikachu is excited to the go to the gay pride parade with his fellow pokemon and learn about gay history and culture.


Pikachu Goes to the Gay Pride Parade

Today was an exciting day for pikachu. Today he would get the opportunity to go to the local gay pride parade with the other pokemon. Rarely would such an experience be granted to a timid rodent like pikachu, but today was special. Today the gays were throwing a parade to celebrate the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. A traditionalist catholic, Scalia used his position to attempt to thwart left wing political causes such as homosexual marriage and abortion. These efforts were made futile, however, when the court ruled bans on gay marriage unconstitutional last June. While Scalia held on to religious values, the court was made more and more leftist as successive presidents appointed minorities to it, including several Jews. Homosexuals resented Scalia for this, because they saw him as a force denying them government benefits that they believed they were entitled to.

Before long, Pikachu was out in the sun. Many people lined up at the city's main street to enjoy the festivities of the gay pride event. Pikachu was able to wriggle himself into the perfect spot to watch the parade from the sidelines. He sat contently on top of a closed garbage bin on the side of the street. Pikachu smiled as the people around him cheered and waved their rainbow flags. Confetti caked the street as the first float of the parade went by. It was a large red float with many partially clothed, sickly-looking men dancing on top. It was solid red except for the words written in white text on the side, "Poz and Proud". 'Poz' is gay slang for 'HIV positive'. HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a viral infection which develops into the highly deadly disease AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). These gays flailing around up there were proud of having a highly infectious and deadly disease. Pikachu knew from his trainer Ash that HIV/AIDS can be transmitted between people and pokemon through sexual intercourse. He knew that gays were disproportionately affected by the disease because they were far more promiscuous than normal people. The average homosexual has tens, hundreds, even thousands of sexual partners with many of them strangers. Homosexuals also frequently use the anus as a sexual orifice. Because the anus is meant for defecation rather than sexual penetration, the skin inside of it is not tough enough to withstand the friction that said sexual behavior would entail, often resulting in gruesome injuries such as anal tearing and hemorrhoids. Because HIV can be transmitted through blood and semen, this phenomenon increases the infection rate among gay populations.

Next the crowd cheered a float from a local health clinic. Pikachu wagged his little tail, excited by the atmosphere of the joyful people all around him. The health clinic had several enthusiastic gay activists holding up signs advocating the use of the drug Truvada, also known as 'PrEP'. 'PrEP' stands for 'Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis' a drug which was approved by the FDA in July 2012. It is known for being a highly effective countermeasure against HIV infection. Gays frequently take this drug before engaging in self-destructive sex with many partners (many of them are often anonymous). So long as the drug is taken several times a week, it usually can prevent the user from succumbing to HIV infection. However, the drug doesn't protect against other STIs, and it can sometimes become exorbitantly expensive - sometimes even to taxpayers if the recipient of the drug is on medicaid. The February 2016 Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections exhibited a case of a homosexual who was adhering to a daily regimen of PrEP and was infected with a multi-drug-resistant strain of HIV. This new strain of HIV could utterly resist Truvada and all other known drugs used to prevent infection. Unchecked homosexual promiscuity likely caused the development of this particular strain of the disease. Truvada was the largest step the medical community has had in combating HIV in the struggle with AIDS ever since it was introduced to the Western world back in the 1980's, and it took homosexuals and their unrestrained sodomy less than four years to squander it. This is even more insulting, seeing how valuable medical research actually is. If gays weren't as degenerate as they are, HIV/AIDS would barely exist in the West, and the hours of research talented professionals have dedicated to devising a way to prevent or treat this illness could instead have been put towards other maladies such as Alzheimer's or heart disease, which affect a huge proportion of the population rather than HIV/AIDS, which mostly is only a problem for gays and drug users. Pikachu knows this because his friend Nurse Joy frequently discusses medical news with him.

The next few moments were hell for the little pokemon. He was forced to witness unimaginable depravity. He saw much nudity and disgusting costumes. One obese women wore an elaborate costume including a dress with little fake legs hanging off of it. She pulled a string and a prosthetic penis emerged from her costume and squirted some unknown fluid onto the crowd. Rather than show repulsion, most of the onlookers celebrated this display. One man walked by wearing a skin-tight leather costume covered in rainbow-colored dildos. Another marcher wore an anarchist t-shirt and dragged a cross on the ground as he jerked his limp arm in the air, ranting about how he was overthrowing social norms. One nude, tattoo-riddled degenerate was drinking a bottle of what was presumably his own urine. Pikachu couldn't take it anymore. The fecal lust was just too much for the tiny yellow pokemon to tolerate. He tried to cover his eyes with his tail, but he couldn't escape their screeching or their horrid stench. He leapt up into the air and let out a massive thunderbolt from his red cheeks. The power surged throughout the parade, violently electrocuting all of the gays and 'allies'. Pikachu landed off to the grassy side of the road exhausted. After a brief pause in which Pikachu caught his breath, he glanced back at the smoldering remains of the parade. The pokemon snarled in disgust and put his back to this mess. Silently, he trotted off, visions of a Fourth Reich dancing in his head.


End file.
